Random Thoughts and Rants

Heather reminded me Monday night that we should make a point of watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart during the weeks of the two national political conventions. We both find the show funny (though I think I find it funnier than she does) and agree that the show can be at its best when it has a bunch of politicians in one place making a lot of fluffy speeches to skewer.

While watching Monday night I caught the tail end of Lewis Black's rant on the upcoming conventions. It was very funny. What I found particularly enjoyable were his comments at the end. There he raises the question; if we already know who the candidates are going to be, why do we bother with conventions?

Before he was able to answer, I thought to myself: that's true. It's been years since a convention meant anything. I think I can remember some Democratic conventions back in the 80s where there were two or three candidates who had a chance at the nomination and the alignment of delegates meant something. (I think Jesse Jackson played a part somehow). It would definitely make things more interesting.

But I digress. Black's explanation for the existence of conventions today? "The balloon lobby has both parties by the balls - and they're not afraid to twist!"

That's good.

Speaking of giving balls a twist. What's the Indiana Department of Transportation's fucking problem with 80/94 between Gary, IN and the Illinois border? Between going to college, living in Cleveland, and marrying a woman from Ohio, I've been going back and forth through this area for the last 14 years. I think once - ONCE - in those last 14 years have these back country hicks not been working on this road. It's a given that when entering or leaving the Chicago area you bound to sit in some sort of construction delay - your car idling along as you stare at a million Krazy Karl Firework Emporium billboards.

But it's not like the 80/94-construction hellhole is the only fun to be found while traveling the toll roads of Indiana and Ohio. Both states have turnpikes, which means you get a little ticket when you enter the highway and pay when you get off. No tollbooths every 5 miles or so like in Illinois or Wisconsin.

In both states, whenever they have one of these turnpike gates for picking up a ticket or paying the toll, there is always a sign over at least one of the lanes that read, "Cars Only No Trailers."

You know what happens? Every fricking mind-numbed lemming in a car gets in that one lane. Even though there are four or five open lanes besides that one! You'll even see cars fighting to get over into the "Cars Only" lane. For all you OPRF dropouts out there fighting to get into a tollbooth lane 10 cars deep, I have a little hint for you.

If you're driving a car you can go in any lane. The "Cars Only" lane is for cars only - not trailers, not trucks, not horse and carriages. The sign doesn't say, "This is The Only Lane For Cars." It's the "Cars Only" lane.

I do believe America is becoming collectively dumber.