Fun Conversations In The Van

For Easter we went to Findlay, OH to visit Heather's family. It's about a six-hour drive that really isn't too bad. A little challenging with young children, but as the get older things get progressively easier.

This was the first trip to Ohio that Emma was making as a fully potty-trained youngster. Considering how she has demonstrated to have a pea-sized bladder while at home, I was a little concerned. Heather felt confident that as long as we insisted on using the bathroom whenever we stopped, and limiting that amount of juice/water/milk Emma drank, everything would work out fine.

Then we were about ten minutes out from a rest spot on the Ohio turnpike (and for those of you not in the know, the Indiana and Ohio turnpikes have limited access and limited rest stops - both usually 30 to 40 minutes apart.)

Emma: I have to go poo!!

Me: What?!

Emma: I have to go poo!!

Heather (who is driving): What does Emma need?

Me: She says she needs to go poo.

Heather: Uh-oh.

Me: Yeah.

It's twenty minutes to the next rest spot, and probably just as long to the next exit. Can she hold it for twenty minutes? At this point I start scanning around. Trees, trees, and trees are everywhere. Could Emma squat behind a tree? Do we risk it? Do I want to deal with trying to explain to my two-year old that public defecation is wrong except for this one little instance because Mommy and Daddy don't want you pooping in our van when we still have about two and half hours to drive?

They never tell you about these dilemmas when in parenting class.

Me: Emma, we're going to try and find you a potty. But you need to wait.

Emma: You know who has potties?

Me: Who?

Emma: McDonald's has potties.

Me: That's right.

Emma: If you find a McDonald's I can use their potty.

Me: Well, maybe we'll look for one of those.

Emma: OH!

Me: What! What happened!

Emma: I just needed to fart. I'm okay.

Me: Heather, just keep driving. Disaster has been averted. Emma only needed to fart.